Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
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She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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