I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
