OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think I am morally bankrupt
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
