After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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