He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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