he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
