Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
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We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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