i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
