moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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