Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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