I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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