called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize