Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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