Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
