I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize