At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
