We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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