Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
