My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Semen is not good for contacts.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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