TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
