and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
