sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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