she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
