there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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