HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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