can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
