I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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