I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
