so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
