i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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