I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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