Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
