God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The struggles of a small town man whore
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
