you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
