I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
