Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
