FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
