I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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