; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
