just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
