I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She's JV to your varsity
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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