Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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