Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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