i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
