Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm passing your future prison.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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