ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
