If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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