Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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