Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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