I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
