I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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