Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
