i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
