I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
