What a fucking waste of an outfit
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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