THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
