What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize