I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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